At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Randomize
