Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
Blood and glitter go together right?
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
Randomize
