I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
Maybe he injected his testicle?
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize