I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
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