Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
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