Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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