You're so nebulous sometimes
you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
Randomize
