Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Randomize
