Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
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