Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
Randomize
