Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize
