dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
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