And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
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