I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
either way he was missing a nipple.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
Randomize
