I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
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