just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize
