I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
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