sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
