id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
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