So I answered the door in my underwear expecting my boyfriend. Instead I opened the door to Mormon missionaries. Do you think that was a sign from God?
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
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