I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
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