My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
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