Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
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