Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
Someone shattered a urinal.
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
