i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
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