Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
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