If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
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