My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
Randomize
