But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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