I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
Randomize
