You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
Randomize
