The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
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