Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Randomize
