i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
Randomize
