I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
Randomize
