Woke up this morning to a janitor hitting me in the head with his bucket in the hallway of my building. An alumni was next to me because we locked ourselves out of my room and couldn't figure out where my roommates were.
Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
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