How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
The air taste purple.
Randomize
