she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
Randomize
