he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
