Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
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