I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Randomize
