I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
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My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
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I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
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