So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
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