Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
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