Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
My bed is full of blood and feathers
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
Come share oat with me in your robe
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
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