Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
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