why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
Well I just put wine in my tea
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
Randomize
