yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
Randomize
