I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
So I have to send you an email about my weekend, heretofore referred to as The Perfect Weekend. Wherein I have lots of awesome sex with a guy with THE MOST AMAZING BODY.
I look forward to this email. I will respond with, Condoms and Creepers: The Adventures of Online Dating.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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