seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
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