he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
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