I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Randomize
