it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
Randomize
