at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Randomize
