is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
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