I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
Randomize
