I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
We were destined to go to rehab together
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
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