I'm drive I can fine osifer
Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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