Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
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You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
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I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
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