just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Randomize
