when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
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