i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize
