hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize
