She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
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